I have been waiting a long time for today, and I knew I would end up writing a blog post about how it made me feel, but I didn’t expect the feelings I got, and I still feel like it’s worth sharing.
We are house hunting right now, and I am continually telling Hubby to not get his hopes up until we have a signed offer and a loan (and based on the offer, I don’t consider the loan a given, even though our financial advisor is confident- as a side note, I feel really freaking grown up having a financial advisor).
It would seem though that I don’t take my own advice even when I know the reality.
Nearly two years ago we first started looking for a house, we found one, or more truthfully we found a theory of one. It was to be built, 18 months later, they changed their minds. So we are back at square one. It was also roughly two years ago when I found out my boss added himself to the international bone marrow donor list.
It surprised me, I knew what bone marrow was, but I also “knew” it was incredibly invasive to donate. His generosity overwhelmed me, and when I asked him why he did it, his answer surprised me too, “just think how the world would be different if everyone, or no one was on the list”.
It got me thinking, and that day I decided the next time the association came to our offices, I would go and talk to the doctor and get the facts. As luck would have it, it took nearly two years for them to come back and in between, I changed offices and just happened to share my office with the woman who organizes the whole thing for our company.
I quickly got my answers, weighed it in my head and waited to add myself to that list. As the day leading up to the interview came, I grew more and more excited, I mean, this is shit that really matters, in a big way, and it felt great to be a part of it.
As luck would have, Squishy was sick today, so I didn’t go to work, but yet, I dragged that poor feverish girl with me because I couldn’t miss this opportunity.
The interview lasted 5 minutes, my stupid ass messed up gene prohibits me from being added to the list. I knew this was a possibility, but it was like I forgot. It hit me like a brick wall. I left the office a little stunned. Outside I ran into one of the coolest ladies of all time and couldn’t hold back my tears, she hugged me and her concern was touching, but I felt empty and weird and sad, and so freaking frustrated.
I have now gone through my stages of grief and I have decided that just because I can’t contribute the way I want, doesn’t mean I can’t contribute. I can help others understand what it means, what it’s for, and how they can contribute.
So here goes, find out more:
In the US: http://bethematch.org
In France: http://www.dondemoelleosseuse.fr