When I sit down to spend some time in front of the TV, the purpose is quite clear, I want to relax or zone out or just wash the day off. I do not want to think, learn, discover or spend any energy whatsoever. As such, my taste in television programming is quite simple, it must be pointless (this is the most important characteristic), it must be funny, it must not contain any moral lessons, it must not make me feel a single emotion and it must be, well, entertaining. If it gives me hope that good will conquer over evil as well, I’ll allow it.
So, what fits into that criteria?
A lot of really stupid shows, a few sit-coms and a few silly crime shows (not serious crime shows like CSI or extra stupid crime shows like CSI Miami..seriously, when I heard the phrase “He’s got a pulse, quick give him CPR” I gave up on that one completely).
Right now, the crime TV has taken over (Castle…it’s only Castle) and Hubby and I have been watching that quite frequently. But I’ve started to notice a few small side effects to this genre.
First, when I go to the beach (in February…yeah that’s right family, you are suffering through -27C and 40cm of snow and I’m at the beach), and there is something floating in the water, my first thought is “dead body” rather than “drift wood”.
Or, when I am at a childrens park with my kids and I see something hanging in a tree, my first thought is “dead body” rather than “some kids lost sweater”.
Basically, with my poor eyes, everything I can’t see clearly at first sight is “dead body”.
Second, when I’m out jogging and I hear gun shots (these were actual gunshots not my overzealous imagination; some dumbass hunter was a little too close to our park), my first thought is that if I get hit with a stray bullet, I’d better send a text message to my husband to tell him asap what happened so that when the hunters come to “cover up” their mistake and kill me and then hide the body, Hubby knows to keep digging.
I may be going out on a limb here saying that that may not be what typical people call normal thoughts.
Third, I’m now suspicious of everything, and I mean everything…nothing is what it seems, everyone is lying and it’s all just a big conspiracy. I’m also terrified of ever being alone and having no alibi for whatever crime someone is going to frame me for. It’s exhausting living in this constant state of fear. Also, just to please O, when I went to bed last night, there was something scary creeping along in the hallway, and I started to freak out so Hubby turned on the light (smart man) and it turned out to be a fly.
So with all these insights, changes in my mental state, and complete exhaustion from living in a constant state of fear, will I stop watching crime TV? Probably not, Castle is a really good show.