Random act of kindness, again!

So, since accusing my dear friend of trying to kill me well over a year ago now, I have started to actually enjoy running. In February for example, I ran a total of 39.5 km (thank you smart phone and running app, seriously, how did people run back when they had to use an actual paper map to find out how far they ran). I fully realise that in a month, I still ran less than a few of my friends do in a few hours when they run their “marathons”, and it took me WAY longer, but whatever, that’s pretty awesome for someone who thought running = death not so long ago.

Today, I went for a long run, which in my world meant 11 km, which is the longest I have ever run in one go. Yes I got lost, but that’s not why I ran so far, I would have run just as far not getting lost, but it would have been WAY more boring.

In any case, just as I was finishing up km 9, I was half way up a killer hill, trying to give myself the force to keep going, and a random dude out washing his car lifted his head and said “Bravo”.

I don’t know if he knew how much I was suffering at that point, I mean I wasn’t hiding it, I was dripping with sweat, my face was probably a solid cherry colour and plastered with an expression of pure pain and suffering, but still, maybe he didn’t know. But man, THAT was exactly what I needed to keep going. A smile broke across my face, I thanked him, and I even found a little left over energy to speed up a bit (and before anyone even thinks to comment, it was not a young little hotty , it was a middle-aged, slightly over-weight kind gentleman who took pity on a struggling wannabe athlete).

I gracefully (at least that is what I choose to think I look like when I’m jogging) finished my last 2 km, drank 2 liters of orange juice mixed with water (see Dad, I do listen to you), and stretched for nearly 40 minutes. I didn’t necessarily need to stretch for that long, but I was a little terrified that if I sat down, I may cease to be able to get back up again (Barney running a marathon anyone?).

In any case, thank you random dude for your kindness, and I’d also like to thank a dear friend who is doing this insanity¬†tomorrow for giving me the willpower to run 11 km…in ¬†a row…without stopping (okay, I stopped once to look at a map, I got really lost).





She didn’t kill me afterall

About two months ago, I wrote about how my dear friend was trying to destroy me by making me get fit. It turns out she failed, at the destroying me part, not the getting fit part.

This morning I woke up and ran 4.4km. I double and tripled checked after I got home by searching “How far did I run” in Google, yup 4.4 km. Two months ago, that would have seemed an insurmountable feat, but today I just did it, and was close to thinking, “perhaps this run wasn’t long enough”. I said close to, but not actually thinking that.


Friend is now trying to talk me into running a 10K with her January. When she first brought it up last week I mocked, I laughed, I said that it is not physically possible. But after this morning, it doesn’t seem so far fetched; fitness and healthy living may in fact be within my grasp.

So what other side effects have come out of this fitness thingy? Well, I have lost almost no weight, which may not seem like a good thing, but I have lost some which means I haven’t gained any, and that is a spectacular reversal of the trend from the first half of 2014.

I can keep up with my kids better, which makes weekends a lot more interesting and less screamy.

I sleep at night, or at least most nights, which also means I don’t feel like taking naps at my desk everyday anymore, now it’s only like every other day.

All in all, I will admit, this hasn’t been a totally bad experience. I wouldn’t say it has been a totally good experience either though, there were moments when I wanted to commit violence against our trainer dude, but I was of course too exhausted to do so. There have also been moments when I have wanted to fall down and give up, but I was even too exhausted to do that. On top of that my ego takes a hit every single fitness session, because I feel like I am making no progress and I am still required to cheat on a least one or two exercises to survive. I am of course called out every single time I cheat, but the others don’t realise I am doing it for them, my lifeless body would be heavy for them to carry back if I actually tried to keep up.

So, I take back, you may not have been trying to kill me, it might be that perhaps you are a caring person who wants to help me feel better…perhaps.

My best friend is trying to kill me

I have an overly motivated friend, who is desperately trying to get healthy and fit, which in theory is a good thing. But she is trying to take me down with her…and with my weak spirit, I am letting her. So, within a few months, I will either be fit and feel great again, or I will be dead.

She is part of a fitness group, and without really contemplating it, I signed up too, quite honestly, because she told me to (I told you, weak).

So today was the first day…and let me explain to you the hell I went through trying to keep up with some relatively fit men, and my friend, sympathetic and kindish, but still much more fit than me.

It’s an interesting program, there is a bit of jogging, a bit of interval training, a bit of muscle whatever, and a bit of stretching, so it’s not boring. It’s outside, which is awesome, I love being outside. It’s at lunch, so it doesn’t take away from my evenings, or force me to get up early (which is essential to my survival).

But, it’s outside and at lunch, that is during the hottest frickin part of the day. In fairness to the trainer dude, he does look for shade, but running in 30 degree weather is not my cup of tea.

So I came armed with my son’s cooling scarf that I tied around my waist, and a bottle of water, for either drinking or pouring over my head, depending on the urge that hit me. We started off slowly, jogging gently, and then suddenly everyone seemed to pick up speed or maybe I just slowed down to a walk, I don’t know. Either way, I was the last straggler who arrived for the first set of interval training. I managed I would say, most of the exercises and only had to fully give up once. By this point, I was no longer able to speak, mainly due to the fact that I was barely able to breathe.

So after that nightmare, guess what, more running. WOOHOO, my legs were still working, which was a surprising. They no longer knew how to run, but that’s beside the point.

Then it was into the forest trails, and it was like breathing fresh air. I felt lighter, I felt my energy level go up, and I felt like I could keep up. I did, for a total of 3 minutes, wait let me do that math again, yup, 3 minutes. Then I crashed again and went back to walking. The trainer fully gave up on me, and told me I could walk up the hill and wait for them while they finished their running. I didn’t object.

So, after my wimp out, it was time for abs and such, something I could keep up with, so I felt my confidence come back. We stretched a little bit and then we were to jog back. I felt pretty good and thought we could jog back to the starting point, naturally I felt this as we were going back down the hill. Once we were on flat ground and I had to carry my own weight, well, my optimism was quickly met with reality.

So now, after being a massive athletic failure, I am feeling only mildly dejected. This is mostly because I am so focused on feeling exhausted, and drained of all life. I am also feeling terrified because I may feel awful now, but it is only a fraction of what I am going to feel tomorrow morning.