I don’t have any babies left

I spent the better part of the first four years of my son’s life mourning my carefree, newlywed existence. I missed everything from sleeping, to nights out with Hubby, to time with my friends having adult conversations that didn’t involve bodily fluids (seriously who knew as a parent you would be talking so regularly and so openly about so much unpleasantness).

About 6 months ago, I think I finally accepted parenthood to it’s fullest, to do that, I just took my life back. I made room for time alone, time away from the kids and time with my friends. It was like breathing again. So it’s been 6 months of mostly enjoying my kids.

Then suddenly this weekend I looked at my kids and realised, my babies aren’t babies anymore. My little girl has real person proportions. I’m not crazy, I swear this is a thing. You know how babies can barely touch their hands over top of their heads because their heads are so big for the bodies. When adults reach their arms over their heads, the top of their head is somewhere around their elbow. Well, Squishy reached her arms up this weekend, and the top of her head was around her elbow…real person proportions.

Not only that but she now calls it her blanket…can you believe that crap??? She has spent a year calling it her blanklet, and it was so cute and now, out of nowhere, she says it correctly.

Not only that, but toilet training is no longer “training”, she’s fully house trained, no more diapers. It just seems unnatural to do the weekly groceries without buying hundreds of diapers and wipes.

But not only that, she sat down and did a 100 piece puzzle this weekend, by herself. Okay, that was actually pretty cool, because she is not even three yet, but oh my god, where did my baby go?

Don’t get me wrong, I am not mourning my life with babies, those years were challenging, exhausting, frustrating and generally sleep deprived. Then there was the weight loss and weight gain, the mood swings, the traveling everywhere with at least 20kg of crap, and the crying (okay that still happens, but at least now I generally know why and it is less frequently me).

It is just that my baby girl is so not a baby anymore and it’s weirding me out, where did my babies go?


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