One of my kids might be a drug addict, and the other one thinks I’m pretty

I was having one of those days, you know the ones, you think to yourself at 4 p.m. “I have to go pee”, then suddenly it’s 8 p.m. and you still haven’t gone.

It wasn’t a bad day, or a particularly stressful day, and I wouldn’t even qualify it as hectic, it was just full.

Crazy went to the dentist today, he went with his father because I am all burned out on dentist appointments and I couldn’t manage it anymore. Apparently he was exceptionally uncooperative. They were trying to measure the height of the teeth to put on his baby dentures. This required him to open his mouth, and he was adamantly refusing to do so. The dentist decided to use laughing gas to calm him down.

Rumour has it that he panicked at little at first, and calmed down quite quickly after inhaling the fumes. When he seemed fully relaxed, the dentist removed the mask from his face and asked if he was okay. His response was, “a little bit more please”. My four year old was high, and asked to get higher…

After the two hour long appointment, they were liberated, and Hubby called to tell me how it went while driving a sleeping, hungover Crazy home. Shortly thereafter, with my still full bladder, I went to pick up Squishy, who greeted me with a big screaming hug and “Mommy, you are pretty”. I gave her a big hug back and said thank you. Then she just stared at me for awhile before saying “and me?”

These two little stories got me through the next few hours. Crazy was of course emotionally wound up, and totally exhausted, so you know, he was challenging. Squishy, well, sweet Squishy, I don’t know what the frig was up with her, but I suspect it involved teeth as well. She was throwing fits, and crying because she didn’t want to eat, then because she did, then because she had a sticker stuck to her hand that she couldn’t get off. On a side note, watching a two year old trying to get a sticker off her hand, only to get it stuck on the other one, over and over again is hilarious.

A few hours after that, I finally went pee.

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