Of all the television shows that are or have been on my list of things to watch, my favorite by far is NCIS. This show is the perfect blend of humor, drama, emotion, and gratuitous violence that makes me fully escape my life forty minutes at a time.
With summer reaching its end, I started to do my general spoiler search via my best friend the internet to see what to expect this season. I discovered, nearly two months after the regular NCIS fan base that Cote De Pablo is leaving. I was first quite sad because I love Ziva, then I realized, they have a job opening. So here is the cover letter of my application to what would totally be my dream job.
Dear people of NCIS who make decisions about casting,
Rumor has it you are looking for “a bright, educated, athletic, attractive, fresh-faced, focused and some what socially awkward” person who will answer to the name Bishop.
I do fully understand that this is an acting role, and while I have no acting experience beyond high-school drama classes, I still think I am the perfect person for this role. The character is basically me, so I would not need to act, I would just be me, saying what you tell me to say in front of cameras.
Bright: I have often been referred to as a genius, such as “way to go genius”
Educated: I have a Masters degree, and it only took me a year longer than expected.
Athletic: I have two kids, trust me, I am running around all the fricking time.
Attractive: You guys have make up and can play with lighting right?
Fresh-faced: If you mean clean, I swear I wash my face almost everyday. If you mean unknown, then yeah, I’m good, no one knows who I am, although, my face was on a poster on the wall in one scene of Good Will Hunting, but so far the paparazzi haven’t found me.
Focused: I have sat at my computer pressing control c control v for hours at a time.
Socially Awkward: My masters degree is in aerospace engineering, do you need any more proof?
I will show up early and stay late every day, and I will make the other actors appear not only extremely tall while standing next to me, but they will appear even more talented and skilled as actors. I have fully done my research on the show by owning every season on DVD legally available to me (Season 10 is not yet released in France) and watching them over and over again.
Finally, I think my spot-on comedic timing would be better served on screen than in the budget meetings I have been recently suffering through.
Let me know when we can schedule my audition, I would prefer a scene that involves Jimmy Palmer being shirtless.
Bishop (see, I am already in character)