How to do well at work

Crazy at "work"

Crazy at “work” on his Winnie the Pooh computer.

Here are my five simple ways for getting ahead at work.

1/ Don’t prepare for meetings and show up late. Ideally, bring your laptop with you so that you can ignore everyone in the room and do something else more “important”…what? Facebook is important.

2/ Insult your boss and your bosses boss if possible. For most desired effects, do it publicly. If anyone tells you to “shut the @&)# up”, you know you are on the right track.

3/ When your boss asks you to do anything, always respond with “No, I have no time”. Repeat this in various forms until you have negotiated the task down to its bare minimum.

4/ Put up horrible pictures of your boss in the office and make sure you take full credit for it.

5/ Show up late and leave early.

Also, go ahead and ignore your friend-colleague who is going to walk into your office tomorrow with a pissed off look because she knows, for some reason that science and logic can’t explain, you have done all of the above and you are doing quite well. Eat the cake she brings though.

What are your great ways for ensuring your career advancement?

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