Why should I feel lucky that my husband knows how to work the vacuum?

Crazy Vacuuming

I am often told that I should feel lucky because I have the worlds most amazing husband. I do love my husband, and I am quite happy with my choice to marry him, but I am getting a little tired of people telling me to feel lucky.

What bothers me about this comment is why it is said, not the fact that people are insanely jealous of my super duper man.  I am told to feel lucky because my husband does housework, he does laundry, he changes diapers and he baby sits my children so that I can go out from time to time sans kids.  He has so many great qualities that I do feel grateful for, but I refuse to feel lucky that he treats me and this family with the respect we deserve.

Hubby and I both have promising careers, we both earn roughly the same income (this is a whole other subject that I will not get into now) and we both have other pursuits we would like to follow. We discussed and agreed as adults to have children so why wouldn’t we continue to be equals in our marriage and in our home.

We have split our household responsibilities based on discussions (sometimes heated I’ll grant you, but discussions all the same) and compromise rather than on the stereotypes that were formed in an era when women may not have had as many choices as they do today. I realize that not everyone will strike the same balance as we have, nor do I advocate that they should.

But, I don’t consider having a husband who is my equal and who sees me as his equal as lucky, at least not directly. I feel lucky to live in a society where I am allowed the freedom to make choices. I feel lucky to have been raised by wonderful parents who gave me the confidence and maturity needed to look for and find the right man for me. I feel lucky that I made some kind of crazy choices that landed me in Paris and two offices away from my husband.

So yes, my husband is awesome for me (you ladies don’t need to be interested, I’m the only one in the world who can handle his quirks), but not because he knows how to work the vacuum.


6 thoughts on “Why should I feel lucky that my husband knows how to work the vacuum?

  1. I happen to know hubby so I know you are lucky….but I agree with you that this is because of who he is a human being regardless of gender and gender roles…he is right for you and vice versa since he is also very very lucky! I have a habit of correcting anyone who refers to a man caring for his own children as baby sitting. It was wrong when I was raising children and I am totally surprised to hear it is still being said now. All of this was well said!

  2. As a dad, I have to agree. I think it’s deplorable that there are enough men who think in terms of “baby sitting” their own kids and that housework is “beneath them” for this to even be a concept.
    You are lucky to have him because he is a good man, plain and simple. I wish that there were so many “good” men out there that it was not considered lucky, but simply expected.

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