Please don’t take this post as an attack against our school system, socializing children or any other parent, but my son has learned some wonderful insults since being surrounded by other kids while at school.
When Crazy started school at two and a half (a post for another time, I am still having trouble with this) he was not very verbose. He had a limited vocabulary, little understanding of his emotions and he had a wicked temper that he expressed through hitting or temper tantrums, ahh, those were good times.
School, while a complete shock to his system, did force him to learn to communicate more effectively. Now when he is angry with me rather than hitting me, the table, the wall or throwing himself onto the floor like a loon, he gives me his evil eyes and spouts out the meanest thing he can think of. Sometimes it’s so freaking cute that I have trouble keeping a straight face, sometimes it makes me worry as to WHY this is an insult, but it almost never makes me mad, because well, it’s soooo much better than the violent explosions he used to have.
So here are the insults my son has thrown at me (please note these are all translated from French because Crazy is still mostly refusing to speak English)
* “Gerber Baby” – picture a tiny blond three year old shouting this at you in the same tone an adult would tell some one to eff-off and try not to laugh. I suspect this became an insult because all the kids at school are “big kids”, so calling each other a baby, even if it is the cutest of the cute babies hits at their gentle little egos right where it hurts.
* “Thief” – I assume this comes from any number of television shows or movies where the bad guy is a thief, I choose not to reflect on this further.
* “Nasty girl” – I hate this one, because the emphasis is on girl, not nasty, as though the real insult is that I am a girl. When directed at Hubby, it is just “nasty”. I don’t know how or why being a girl is a bad thing in my sons head, but I will be working toward just being called nasty.
* “You aren’t my friend anymore” – At their tender age of three if they are friends for an entire day I suspect that is considered a long term relationship. What I love best about this one is that he did think of me as his friend. I hope it will last.
He has also learned a lot of nice things too, like “you are pretty” and “you can hold my teddy bear (when I am tired)” and the best of all “I love you.”
What are you favourite pre-school insults?